Solo Backpacking: Overcoming fear at age 55.
It was the summer of 2024 and I couldn’t stop thinking about doing a solo backpack trip, something I thought I would NEVER do. On previous trips, I would lie in my tent next to my tent mate, imagining being alone, in the woods, in the dark, listening for the sounds of the wild. Then I would think, oh hell no! I will not go alone! I LOVE sharing the experience with others too much, I love sharing stories and listening to others’ stories. But something changed in me. I wanted to overcome my fear. It bothered me that I was so afraid of backpacking alone.
Logically I felt I had nothing to fear except for my own wild imagination. Plus, what’s the worst that could happen? Women backpack and through-hike alone all the time. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I was craving solitude, time in the mountains, and swimming in a cool mountain lake. So I set out for an overnight trip with my dog Cora, which technically doesn’t count as a solo trip, but it’s a first step. When I arrived at camp, I felt relaxed, peaceful, and tuned in to nature’s gifts – the wind in the trees, the birds singing, insects buzzing, the water glistening in the sunlight, the foliage and the flowers, nature’s color pallet so soothing to the eyes. Feeling content and tired, I was in my tent before nightfall, equipped with two lamps and Cora dog at my feet. The frogs sang a lullaby, drowning out the sounds of the forest. The strawberry moon rose and shone like a night light, illuminating objects I may otherwise fear. It turns out that being in the wilderness alone isn’t that scary after all. So at the end of my journey, what did I leave behind? My fear of being alone in the dark. What did I bring back? The desire to face my fears, even the micro-fears as I feel fear keeps me small. I want a bigger, fuller, richer, freer life.